#idk I always feel hesitant sharing OC stuff

[bonkalore]

I'm glad Cyprus has been getting some love lately. <3 It makes me feel a bit more confident to share some of the other comic stuff I have with him in his human glamour form as well!

[cilil]

I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.

The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).

Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.

Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier.

OC's, art/drawing, their writing, blog specific only

Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?

Pets: I'd love to know all about them

Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?

Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

Oh thank you so much for this, what a lovely idea! And I hope you don't mind that I did indeed lack the energy during the last few days... was out seeing friends and now I'm sick too x) anyway!

Job/work/about myself: Sure thing, ask away, I won't have many interesting things to talk about since I'm currently finishing up my degree and going into exams for the next few months so it's basically same old every day (-> desk and books). I may also choose not answer certain questions if I feel like they're too personal in the sense that me answering would reveal too much about my real life self, like location, identity etc, but that's on me, I'll decide that in the moment and there are absolutely no hard feelings. I do appreciate people's interest and as long as nobody is overly pushy or prying that's all completely fine :)

Fandom: Tolkien, mainly Silmarillion. Happy to chat about Hobbit and LotR too of course, just may have less to contribute. I do love Bagginshield and Aziraphale/Crowley, but don't really talk about the latter as I keep this blog Tolkien-focused

OCs: I have a few and enjoy talking about them every once in a while. They're all Maiar though so it might not be of interest to everyone and that too is very okay :)

Writing: I write and talk about writing all the time so... always love that :D

Art: I make art very occasionally. I don't mind talking about it or answering questions, it's just that I don't have much to show or be proud of or new developments happening x)

Snippets, ideas & prompts: LOVE THEM! Just a dangerous business because I get tempted easily...

Pets: While I love pets, my dog has recently passed away so it sadly remains a bit of a triggering topic for me. I sometimes share old stories about him when I have the mental and emotional capacity for it, but would prefer not to be asked about it for the foreseeable future as it can catch me off-guard and put me in a dark place🤍

Garden/hobbies: Due to my current living situation, my gardening is pretty much just maintaining my cacti collection. Also writing is currently my only hobby due to aforementioned circumstances

Tagging: Everyone, tag me in cute seal and bird pics! I also love doing tag games and ask games and the like, even if it sometimes takes me a while. In general: Never hesitate to tag me for stuff ^^

[jiafeick-merriproduct]

JUH-JUH-JUH-JACK MERRISLAY HCS 😍😜👑💅💖✨

(there will be a part for regular hcs, the part where I talk about his sister AKA my oc that i told ygs about in an earlier post, and a part for where there will be a tw)

Part 1:

- Jack's birthday is 7/27 (Zodiac Sign: Leo)

- His father taught him how to hunt (all Jack did was stand there and watch so that's why he hesitated to hunt the pig himself in Chapter 1)

- His mother taught him about soft skills such as teamwork, communcation, leadership, and problem-solving, which made Jack prideful and overall a strong leader (his father mae him aggressive 💀)

- Rich Christian household in the real??

- One of the smartest kids in the class besides Roger (and everyone actually praises himn for it because he always boasts about it)

- Became the leader of the choir ever since he was 9 (literally no one could overthrow him for YEARS, no matter how hard ppl tried they just couldn't get the position because Jack was just better like that ✨)

- Jack was the ASB president for one school year before the Island Incident™

- He was also the president of many clubs including drama club, key club (volunteer leadership thing idk), speech and debate club, fashion club (because he's snazzy like that), and the dance club

- He, Roger, and Maurice are BESTIES

- Jack and Ralph share classes, but they never really interacted with each other in a significant manner before the Island Incident™ (they just pass by each other and smile and wave but ngl Jack started to have feelings for Ralph??? a lil bit????)

Part 2:

- Jack has a younger sister named Lilac!!

- Lilac's birthday is 5/24 (Zodiac Sign: Gemini) and she's 8 years old!!! :D

- She borrows choir uniforms from Jack every year just because they look cool and she looks up to him a lot ^_^

- Lilac tends to be prideful, but she's wayyyyy less manipulative and problematic than her brother 💀

- Lilac shows her arrogance and pride the most for petty competitions (like games in P.E. and board games and stuff) but she would NEVER cheat!!

- She gets actually helpful survival tips from Jack (wholesome sibling bonding fr)

- Talks about her brother every day with other people, wants to be a choir gal and a huntress, and believes Jack could do no wrong whatsoever (if only she knew...)

- Might seem competitive and prideful at first, but deep down inside she's really insecure about meeting her brother's standards and she cares about her friends' wellbeing (she just wants to be strong like her big brother awww <3)

- Ppl talk smack about her mostly because they see her as a cheap copy of her brother (Lilac isn't aware of this)

Part 3 (tw: physical and verbal abuse, injuries)

- His father was physically and verbally abusive towards Jack, Lilac and his mother (who was scared to do anything).

- Jack had LITERAL bruises on his back so no one ever saw how his father beat him so damn often like wtf but unfortunately he saw this as normal since he grew up with this behavior.

- His parents fought frequently and Jack and Lilac only had each other for comfort. Jack was a little more emotionally insensitive and didn't know it was wrong while Lilac clearly saw that this was fxxked up.

- Sometimes the two siblings would sneak out in the middle of the night in a forest area somewhere just to take a long break from the yelling and hitting from their parents

Tysm for reading my headcanons ygsss y'all are real ones frrr ✨✨✨✨

[bittercoldbrew]

3,7, and 8!

Thank you darling T^T <3

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

Hahaha what a way to start, I'm feeling hesitant to answer honestly bc I think these things are embarrassingly telling about who I am as a person, but alas it can't be helped. Whether I intend to or not, I always seem to find myself writing protagonists with something to hide, some part of themself that they feel is dangerous or hideous enough that it must be kept secret from the world--and they always end up feeling completely uprooted by, and then madly in love with, any character who is able to see past the facade and find them lovable and worthwhile anyway.

Also I write about naps a lot. I think napping together is just like the pinnacle of human connection.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

God, I dunno, kind of....all of it? That sounds arrogant but idk, I don't really think of myself as a fanfic writer, I more write original fiction and then occasionally dabble in fanfic--which is incredibly frustrating because I've found it nearly impossible to get the kind of collaborative sharing/feedback back-and-forth for original stuff that you see with fanfic (and honestly it's rare to get that with fanfic these days anyway....)...... But all that's to say that when I do write fanfic I tend to build out the world a bit more than other writers do--sometimes parallel to the source material, sometimes tangentially instead--because I'm accustomed to building everything from scratch, and that's something that I think (hope? pray??) makes my work stand out to readers.

That said, right at this moment I think I'm feeling most fond toward the setting(s) of my Prospect (2018) fic, To Build Something New. The movie is entirely focused on a single location within a wider scifi universe, but my story takes place after the characters have left that location, and at the time of writing there was really very little info to go off of. There's quite a bit more floating around now, especially in the discord the creators of the film set up, but I'm really pleased with what I managed to come up with on my own. I think it feels really lived-in, which is always what I'm hoping for.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

This is so hard!!! Omg okay hang on... I do occasionally make up playlists for certain stories or characters, but those are almost exclusively based on vibes more than actual relevance so I'm not sure. Obviously just about anything by Hozier works, but everybody knows that so let's see if I can't pull out a couple of surprises, and hopefully get more people listening to these artists too....

I love love love Rachel Chinouriri, especially for my Coral Island fic Tideline. I actually almost named that story Riptide after her song by the same name lol, but ultimately I didn't think that quite fit with the cozy feel of the game or the fic. Whenever I listen to her song Mama's Boy I always think of Rafael and my oc, Mika: "I'll tell you all the things I fell in love with first, / the stains on your shirt, / your eyes, your nose, your mouth / but I'm waiting for that smile to come back around..."

Also I've been listening to a lot of Mannequin Pussy lately, everyone should listen to more Mannequin Pussy. I don't have anything to write from them yet but I think Who You Are especially has potential, "I have a chain I wear around my neck / I did not choose my life, and I won't choose my death / oh here we are now, stuck between the two / don't you waste it"

These are all such great questions, thank you so much for asking!!!

[themeanpea]

WIP I’m currently working on! I thought I would share some of the really raw WIP stuff for my own keepsake lol.

Sometimes I feel a bit hesitant to share WIPs until they’re really close to the final stage, because I find the final product can look so completely different from the WIP, and it���s all just a bit jarring. Sometimes the final looks worse than the WIP! And that just feels bad lmao.

But idk I wanna get more confident with my art - if the final looks worse, so be it! At least I’ll always have the WIP screenshots lmao…

Also what is it with me and drawing OCs sitting in trees? I just find them so ✨ whimsical ✨ and 🌻 nostalgic 🌻 eventho like…I hardly sat in trees growing up because ants.

Some final thoughts on the WIP: I tried to add more “visual info” right where Jacob and Mylo’s heads are centered so that it becomes the focal point of the pic. Hopefully it kinda works? 🤔

[bittybattybunny]

I hope your not feeling down on your writing skills because I haven't caught up and commented on your latest releases. It's not you it's that I pick too many fanfics to follow and they all update a lot and I've been so busy and I've fallen behind on so many fics from various authors and sometimes my depression just makes me want to lie in bed all day doing nothing and it doesn't help I have to spend my limited spoons helping family everyday. I know these aren't good excuses, but I do sympathize with the lack of energy feeling at least. But your work really does bring a lot of joy to my life. It's so fun keeping up with your various AUs, and your latest one that features Kaya as Spider King has me really hyped because I want to learn more about Kaya, she's so fun! And Ruclipse is such a good comfort ship that just hits all the things I like seeing in a ship. You're so amazing and creative and it's awful that anyone would try to make you feel otherwise! Like your newest OC, Justin Tyme seems like such a lovable dumbass bastard. I love his wild, curly hair and his dapper outfit. I can't wait to see what dumb shit he gets himself into! I know this is really long and rambly, but I hope you know you have fans who genuinely love your work. I don't know if you're still thinking about that one comment you mentioned that got you really down, but honestly, fuck that guy. I don't know what they said but it must have been pure BS to have you doubting your hard earned art skills. I wish I could do more to prove you're awesome and that your fans really admire you, I just hope you don't stop sharing what you love because some rando was nasty for no good reason. Because we love what you do!

It's not like anyone one person nonny so please don't blame yourself. This has been an ongoing thing for a few months actually...

it's just a general thing over all lately like. I mentioned this in dm's with a friend but overall past few months I've had lower engagement overall with my works and it really does a number on my confidence. More so because like your latter point.

yes, I am still very much thinking about that one negative comment. Because that person also has the need to comment on other things and I even had a thing asking why I took a few weeks to update (when reality I posted to another ongoing fic and my TLC chapters are long chapters) and just the fact they could tear into a character (yes it was a comment on a character specifically and not even a main character it's a side character who has an important role for Snatcher's growth as a person down the line) then go saying "why didn't you update" when I posted a double update that week---

Like it lives in my head rent free and I want to literally cry because like the character is a focal in an upcoming chapter and I can't deal with another "why are they back" type thing. because "everyone finds them annoying"

And I'll be honest. it was Kaya. Like I've been trying to have fun with my BCU stuff with her as Spiderking because it's engaging for me and me and @/doodleimprovement even came up with a b-plot involving Kaya and Hattie trying to hook Nell and Marcus together and it's one of the best things as well as Kaya and Nell having a really good relationship.

but because of that one comment it makes me hesitant to do anything with Kaya despite she's one of my oldest ocs, my most thought out ocs and I adore her beyond anything. Like yes she's over powered and such and in TLC rn she comes off as a know it all, but upcoming chapters will show she's just a spacey kid who's trying to fit into a role others decided for her and isn't really as all mighty as she seems. Snatcher even ends up thinking of her as a little sister more than anything. Like fuck I'm even hesitant to share anything on her actual story despite how much work is in it. Like she's my favorite Oc (that's why shes my discord icon, and I'm pretty sure she's my twitter icon as well)

And like the points in the comment just. IDK they didn't fit to her, if anything the points are more suited to be shot at Eclipse.

Which is another thing I just get iffy on. I love RuClipse and everything with it. I love writing and drawing the dorks. But I'm now so afraid if Kaya could be attacked for only showing in a handful of chapters that don't even touch on who she is, when is someone going to finally tell me off on my wolf? who's going to tear into a character I pour a lot of personal shit into to try and comfort myself?

I use Ruclipse to deal with my own romantic heart, they are what I wish I could have so I love to write them, I hurt them but i like to make them happy in the end. Someone who can deal with your highs and lows. No ones perfect but you can still figure it out and love even the negative parts (I am a heavy romantic OTL)

he is in fact a lovable bastard. i have fun plans and he gives me an excuse for why Cel is so tired and having to be the brain cell and how she even wound up working with the time kids when she's so much older than they are. Currently I'm trying to think of how to use him and honestly I think he's gonna wind up hella comic relief fun guy who's just making a mess and do his own side story while Hat and Bow are busy in subcon----

thank you, I don't mind the rambly it kinda gave me a chance to get this off my chest... like I've typed this kinda response up time and time again and I always delete. I feel like I'm whining because I get upset but it's just, I spend so much time making things, I use all my spoons on either working or creating, I just want to know if it means anything but then negativity lives in my head because what's a functioning meat cube??? I try to stay positive but it's hard. Like another thing is Moon Guardian; the reason I haven't updated? because I have had someone bothering me about it. weekly I get asked about how I'm doing on it but it's not from a place of "want to read it" it's because I told them they couldn't post a certain thing until the chapter is done so it feels pressuring to constantly get asked because I feel the only reason they want to post is to boost their thing and I'm just the machine to boost it with my characters and comic.... like it feels they've taken the comic from me and it sucks because I have so many fun things planned. Like I accidentally went off on Nina about a thing with Alpine skyline and Eclipse as well as a thing with a Time Rift and a Jelly ghost.

Sorry kinda went off, just I've sat on this thought train since like early april. I've done my best to ignore it and just keep going but it's gotten really hard with the fact my health hasn't been really great. I've spent a lot of time lately bed bound because I just hurt so badly. if I'm not resting, I'm at my day job which is incredibly stressful rn as I only really work mornings and I see things that are being missed so then i report it and it still gets missed and i can't get it fixed after a point cuz we're back to full service and need the people so I can't nitpick but just.... I'm bitter okay like if I left this shit when I worked I would have gotten yelled at but now we just let it slide??? and this stresses me out which then causes my body to freak out because I'm stressed which puts me in more pain. and then like at work have people acting shocked I have my cane or soemthing and just skfdslkfksdf

so my energy is so tanked. and then the negative comment in my head, no idea if people like things cuz I have no idea if I hear nothing, just has had me doubting why post. Like I should go back to just not posting my stories and sketches or w/e and slink back to my hole like I was before.

idk Its just. a bad night in the house of bun. I've had these thoughts festering and I guess today was the dam breaking. It's probs cuz I'm nervous posting Chimeras because it's a very dark au.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #336

"get back, you’re never gonna leave him  /  get back, you’re always gonna please him”

What were your favorite things to draw when you were a lil kid? When I was a very little kid, idk. But once I got into meerkats... I drew them like crazy. Do you think there is something with or around you, like a spirit, angel, ghost or something else? How does this make you feel? No. Imagine you’re a stranger looking at yourself. What things would immediately catch your eye? Ugh, let's not. When did you feel the most confident in your life? Probably my senior year of high school. I was happy with Jason with plans for the future together, I was doing excellently in school... I thought I was really going to go somewhere. Do you think love is needed to have good sex? For some people, no. For me, loving one another is an absolute must. Do you think, or want to, die in the city you currently live in? Fuuuuuuuck no, I hate it here. What is the strangest thing you have ever encountered? Probably when I was otw home from my doctor appointment and we passed a random guy in drag walking on the side of the street... That guy is an icon. Favourite soft drink? It's really strawberry Sunkist, but I love it to a degree I don't even allow myself to drink it, because I will fucking destroy that shit so quick. So I tend to just say Mountain Dew Voltage is my fave. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy, period. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No, but it sounds fun. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhhh idk. Who depends on you the most? My snake. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Yes; William Clark and Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth, idr which. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Mom. She only has one kidney, so, y'know. She kinda needs at least one. I wouldn't even hesitate. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Unconditional love. What three things do you think of most of each day? My weight is #1. Every second of every day, it, as well as Jason, are somewhere towards the front of my mind. The final is financial and job-oriented stuff. Does/did your high school have pop machines? It did. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yeah. How often do you use Flickr? I pretty much abandoned my account; nowadays I only occasional check my friend's profile who works at the Kalahari Meerkat Project because she uploads wonderful pictures of the 'kats as well as gives interesting info about them! Who is the last child that you took a photo with? Mom took a picture of me holding my youngest niece Emerson because it surprised everyone; I NEVER hold babies. She crawled over to me and reached up though, so of course I was going to pick her up. How often do you wear hats? Never. Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Sure! Idk what, but I'm rather sure I'll get at leaast one. Is anyone in your family sick at the moment? No. Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? My older sister is a mammographer, and my younger sis is a social worker. Where is your favorite place to buy groceries? Wal-Mart, I guess. Who do you generally talk to the most? My mom. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname? Mom is "Mama Bear," and then my siblings are "Little Sister" and "Big Sister." Whose birthday is coming up? My lil sister has her birthday in April. Have you ever ordered from an informercial? No. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? I needed to get blood drawn for some testing. It was drawn from my inner elbow, obviously at the doctor. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? I never have, but it'd be fun. I enjoy puzzles. How many followers do you have on Instagram? I don't feel like checking. What’s the most recent music video you watched? Thoughts? "Mutter" by Rammstein. I picked a screenshot from it to draw, so I rewatched it to select one. It's a beautiful video, but also strange, which Rammstein is great at. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. What makeup products are your go-tos? If I wear makeup, the bare minimum is black eyeliner. Are you going to school this year? No. I gave college as many shots as I could handle both sanity-wise and with finances in mind. I do NOT want to even ATTEMPT to imagine the debt I have after going to three different colleges and dropping out each time. What is your favorite water activity? I enjoy just kinda swimming around aimlessly, relaxing. What are your favorite video games? Okay, I talk about SH2 and SotC enough on questions like this, so I'll mention some others I really enjoy as well: the Silent Hill franchise in general, Spyro games, The Last Guardian, both The Evil Withins, The Last of Us, some Resident Evil games (the 4th in particular), etc. etc. I just love video games. Do you like jello? I enjoy the flavor, but the texture makes me squirm. When was the last time you gave someone "the finger?" Probably while riding in the car with Mom when a dumb motherfucker swerved into our lane. Or something like that, idr the exact occasion. Have you ever held a snake? Yesssss, I want to hold all the snakes. ;_; Most unique place you’ve ever been to? Uh. I guess maybe the Whirligig Park/"Acid Park" nearby us? It's just this large expanse of unique architecture that are mostly, as you guessed it, extravagant whirligigs. You've got to see it if you come to the town. I have some pictures on my deviantART if you wanna see a few pieces. If you were a superhero, what color would your cape be? NO CAPES! Have you ever slept out on your porch all night? Oh fuck no. I'd feel way, way too unsafe. Do you like horror movies? Yeah! What’s your favorite Coke product? Just normal Coke. Watergun or water-balloon war? Watergun. I don't like being hit with stuff. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? I kind of am. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? I have three plushies from Jason, Tyler, and Girt. My Marilyn Manson poster is also from Juan. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don't know; I was never a big fan, so I don't know any of them as people well at all. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? I've never been drunk, but no, I've never texted an ex because I was drinking. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? I don't have one. The only instance where I had to do that was with Girt. Tall motherfucker. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? Yes. Those are the best. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Girt once tried to make out with me and I noped the fuck outta that situation. It was so fucking awkward. Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before? My nightmares definitely can. Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way? I definitely believe my mental illnesses forced me to mature faster and also instilled a great sense of empathy in me. And don't forget emotional endurance. What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line? It's dangerous and can be very blinding. An outsider could say I put Mark on a pedestal, but I've always been very aware that he's not perfect and really just another human, I just happen to love him a lot for the human he is, haha. As time's passed, my vision of him has become healthier though (not to say it ever reached the "unhealthy" threshold); it's gotten easier for me to judge him and stuff like that. I think an obsession crosses the line when you put on rose-tinted glasses to look upon someone and entirely ignore their flaws, or if you try to invade their personal lives, ex. being one of those creeps that loiter outside their houses and stuff. If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph? Ah, livin' the dream. If I had to choice and would be paid well regardless of focus, I would absolutely travel and photograph the local nature/wildlife. Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others? Shirts, 100%. Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited? When it comes to OCs, yes, given that things have been stolen from me before. Photography doesn't worry me much because I don't think I'm good enough for someone to possibly want to steal it (and besides, I use a watermark), and I do the same for drawings. It's the unique characters I make I worry about being stolen if I share them. When is the last time you did something sexual? A few years back. Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone? I haven't showered with someone since I was a little kid and my younger sister and I would to conserve water. What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road? It really makes me genuinely sad, and I always wonder if it could have been avoided if the driver was more alert, slower, and thinking about more than the damage it could cause to their car... I enjoy photographing roadkill, brutal as it may be, out of respect for them and the desire to make their individual stories known and just kind of like, raise awareness of it. Too many people are just annoyed by hitting an animal versus more concerned. "Stupid deer," stuff like that. I sometimes worry that doing so can be interpreted as disrespect, to photograph and publish pictures of their corpses online, but I sure hope not. It's the least of my intentions. I just want people to see and care. Have you ever had an ex that just didn’t understand that it was over? Biiiitch I was that ex, 120%. But besides my situation with Jason, this was how Tyler was. I had to tell him about five thousand times to stop texting me. Are your fingernails currently short or long? They're always pretty short. Would you rather have big or small dogs? I like medium-sized dogs most. I'd have to pick large dogs between the two, though. What is your favorite sports drink? I'm not a fan of sports drinks. What was the last compliment you gave a guy? Yesterday, a guy in PHP shared two poems he wrote while hospitalized, and they were wonderful, so full of passion and emotion. I sure as hell told him they were amazing. He's going for his Master's for poetry, so he knows what he's doing for real. Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It's popped on very, very few occasions. Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids “the talk”? I don't want kids, so no, I've never thought of this. I certainly wouldn't wait for sex ed in school, though. I feel like it's a bit late. I feel children need to know what it's about at a younger age with how disgusting some people are... I want them to be informed on what consent and molestation are so they know to let Mama know so I can punch someone's face into a whole new galaxy if they're ever violated. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something? Oh, always. Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did as a kid, sure. Not so much now. If you were married, and your spouse’s parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? If they were truly sick enough to need assistance but not actual hospitalization, yes. I'd want my spouse to do the same for me. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yyyyep. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Did you actually have a cookie jar? We have a Santa one, though I don't even know if we ever used it versus just having it as a decoration. What’s worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? Bottom lip. Do you think that knowing when and how you’re going to die would ruin your life? "Ruin" it seems a bit extreme, but I definitely wouldn't like it. Do you have a favorite bromance? From TV or a movie. Not really, if we're only talking those two options. Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? Yeah, you really can find the coolest shit for great prices. What color is your wallet? Mostly red and white; it's a Harley Quinn design. Have you ever been somebody's photography subject? No. Nicki Minaj fan? I believe she's a very talented rapper, but I don't enjoy her actual music. I just don't like rap. Have you ever seen the Niagara Falls? No, I wish tho.

[whitherliliesbloom]

✿ stories you want to write

Tagged by: @earthlystar, @fistsoflightning, @stars-bleed-hearts-shine​, @windup-dragoon​ THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Tagging: idk, whoever wants to do this lmao. just say I tagged you!

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a bundle of unfulfilled ideas / headcanons. I have a lot of stories / AU ideas I want to write.. but either don’t have the time or energy to write them... Or you know, I’m just plain lazy.

I’m also kind of leaning more towards Genshin Impact now than FFXIV oops

1) More time travel AU

I KNOW!! I’m the only one who cares about this au okay but 

TIME TRAVEL STORIES ARE ALWAYS SOME OF MY FAVORITE STORIES??? ADDING TO THAT ANYTHING INVOLVING LIKE.. META COMMENTARY AND POSSIBLE 4TH WALL BREAKING??? STEINS;GATE??? MADOKA MAGICA??? CHARLOTTE??? UNDERTALE??? The ability to stop time and rewind time is just such a COOL ASS concept to me?? I won’t shut up about wanting time mage in ffxiv just so I can OFFICIALLY make her a canon overpowered time and space manipulator. Maybe then, time travel au won’t just be an au anymore.

On top of that I just really like Cronus. The idea of an Illya who is so damaged and broken she becomes an entirely different person. I just don’t really have a set plot planned for this au or have any idea on how to resolve the conflict between Cronus, present timeline Illya and Alphinaud... or if I even wanna give Cronus a happy ending iafnioafas. But whenever there’s an opportunity to talk about time travel au, you bet your gil I will.

2) More Nier Automata AU

I kinda lost steam for this AU really really quickly for some reason but.. I had pretty ambitious plans for the plot of this which I really hope I’ll find the inspiration to write out some day.. because I really don’t like just.. reducing my ideas to simple bullet point headcanons. 

Some brief idea of what I had in mind though:

 bad ending depending on illya’s actions at one of the climatic scenes

different ‘good’ endings depending on her last dialogue choice which would lead to her ending up with different love interests. 

love triangle, of course

side plot for alisaie and ryne involving an escort mission

really really meta writing about the meaning of an android’s life and who 2C feels like she really is

scene of 2C regaining memories of alphinaud’s death and losing her shit

Like I said. I’m a bundle of lots of ideas that are almost always unfulfilled. I still really like this au though and I don’t want it to go to waste...

3) More Modern AU

Oops another AU. At least this one isn’t depressing or something that might give you an existential crisis. I have A LOT of headcanons for modern au ffxiv characters... not to mention different versions of the modern au concept. There’s Youtuber Illya AU, there’s highschool AU, there’s that AU where Illya works at a coffee shop and Alphinaud is a university student. 

I just love how laid back and Slice of Life-y modern au can be and I just... really love the idea of Illya living a normal happy life that doesn’t involve her having to kill gods every other day as much as i do love to torture her, yes. 

Some ideas for modern au fics i had:

Highschool AU Ryne asking her friends to cosplay sailor moon characters for a cosplay convention. Laurelis as Sailor Moon and Haurchefant as Tuxedo Mask. Ryne herself as Sailor Venus. Gaia as Sailor Mars. Illya as Sailor Saturn. 

Youtuber Illya attempting to vlog outside her home for the first time while she’s on a date with Alphinaud because her viewers requested it so much. Just pure fluff and the dorks being dorks. 

Highschool AU Illya working on a set of mini terrarium jewelry to sell at the school fair to raise money. The jocks at the school sort of laugh and lowkey bully her for the idea but she ends up making a ton of money.

SOL comedy AU where alisaie and alphinaud both have a crush on Illya sort of compete for her attention. She’s completely oblivious to all of it. 

Cafe AU where Illya has raised enough money (and with Alphinaud’s generous donation) to send in an entry to university. Alphinaud helps her study for the entrance exam. 

More double dates? :eyes:

4) To Aru Majutsu no Index AU

LOOK SOMETHING I HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT ON MY BLOG BEFORE. I just really like the premise / setting of this anime. ARE YALL READY FOR WORD VOMIT???

Academy city, a city that houses many schools, and research intuitions devoted to the study and advancement of science. Espers are individuals who use scientifically based supernatural powers, all of whom gained and trained their powers artificially under the system of Academy city. However, there is another underground side to the city - a small organization of people with supernatural abilities that cannot be explained by science. They are called magicians - and due to the rarity of magic, and how Academy city is so repulsed by the idea of abilities that defy the laws of conventional science and their understanding, some people even believe that magic is simply a myth or urban legend. 

While espers typically specialize in only one or two types of ability, magicians are often able to wield a variety of different abilities that take time to train and nurture, making them so frightening to the science side of academy. Some magicians even end up dabbling in the occult or black magic.

Alphinaud, a level 4 esper with the ability to physically see energy waves emitted by other espers. Couple that with his high intelligence, he is able to analyze the movements and abilities of other espers and even pin point the weak points of their abilities. His twin sister Alisaie is also a level 4 esper who is able to teleport herself and one other person she touches a certain distance in a radius around her current location. 

Alphinaud comes across Illya on his home from his training program one day, beaten and exhausted on the side of the road. He wants to call the hospital, but she begs him not to, saying she’s afraid that ‘they’ will find her. He takes her back to his home and nurses her wounds. Not seeing any energy waves being emitted from her, he assumes that she is simply an ordinary citizen. He asks her where her home is and how she ended up injured on the side of the road, but she refuses to tell him.

One day, a fight breaks out on the streets near his home, where a level 5 esper has gone rogue and is attacking innocent bystanders. He asks Illya to stay behind while he and Alisaie takes care of the situation. They are outmatched however, and Illya, watching the situation from the balcony of his home finally decides to step in. She easily incapacitates the esper using a variety of magical abilities the twins have never seen before, draining the man of his energy before returning to heal Alphinaud and Alisaie. 

They question Illya later, and she finally confesses to being a magician who is on the run from an organization who had been keeping her captive for the past few years. She has the ability of perfect memory - being able to memorize spells from any grimoire she reads and utilize the powers for herself, though often at some debilitating cost. The more powerful the spell, the more dire and painful the side effects.  She has been forced to read a total of more than 500 grimoires by now, and only managed to narrowly escape thanks to a mysterious man who took pity on her. 

Due to the side effects of her ability, and also having done nothing but be chained up and forced to read grimoires for the past few years, Illya is physically frail and cannot fend for herself beyond using magical abilities, which she is often hesitant to do.

5) Pokemon AU...carmela im looking

Waiting for @windupnamazu​ to provide more details on her pokemon au buttttt i’ve already been working on illya’s sort of backstory, her pokemon team, alphinaud’s pokemon team and other headcanons regarding this au. Also.. working with an artist regarding illya’s design for this au, which i’m very excited to be able to share =3c Not the time yet tho

I actually talked about a pokemon au with Jam as early as June of last year. I made a pokemon team for illya aaaaaand only half of her original team I had for her over a year ago is still in her current team oops. It’s okay, the retconned ones can stay at home and relax with Lachlan. 

6) More amaurotine stuff

Oh finally something relating to canon. I’ve been thinking about Chloris x Apollo from time to time and honestly I.. really love their dynamic.. despite how sad and lowkey awful Apollo can be towards her. But I think that’s part of the charm of what makes alphinaud and illya’s relationship later so sweet, being able to acknowledge that they had their flaws and learn from them ;w;

I had an idea for Chloris inventing a type of flower with the unintentional suggestion of Apollo, and it later makes an appearance where Alphinaud discovers the flower and asks Illya about it. 

7) The twins... no, not the Leveilleur twins

I think everyone’s talked about their lovechildren more than I have and I’ve already kind of explained why I haven’t made any screens or talked about them at length but.. I really do love them so much ;;;; I wanna find the opportunity to write a fic of them maybe spending a day inside with their army of carbuncles... Also @ancientechos​‘ OC Esme (son of haurche and laurelis) developing a crush on one of them =3c 

Also another idea I had involving them is being taken to the site of some of Illya and Alphinaud’s adventures...

8) Butler AU...hey, anyone remember this? 

Remember when I did several comics back to back and was super motivated for this AU? I do. I miss being motivated and inspired and not like.. wrecked with depression. I have plot points... ALSO INTERACTIONS WITH OTHER OCs WHO JOINED THIS AU???? Maybe one day I’ll find the drive again. At least I was able to finish one plot arc!! Which is more than I can say for most of my other AUs. Someone get me back in the shoujo manga mood!!! please!!

9) Idol AU 

Hey idol AU anon where are you.... WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ME YOUR EXTRA HEADCANONS PLEASE COME BACK

10) More Alphinaud and his interactions with DRK Illya

I’ve already written a good number of fics about this, but I still... wanna do more... Acceptance, unconditional love, Illya learning that he won’t leave her despite all her insecurities and flaws... ILLYA FINALLY LEARNING TO IDK ACCEPT HERSELF. HELP.

I just really like DRK Illya okay, and you can pry the symbolism of her duality with her dark side from my cold dead hands. 

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

Hiya! I was debating on whether or not to ask you this, considering that you're probably busy with valentine and other matchup asks, but here it goes. I was wondering if you can match me up with a AOT male, taller then me (I'm 5'5 lol). If that's possible? Here I go-(I'm sorry if this is long!)

✨I have blue/greenish eyes, and red dyed hair (I put this last, idk know why-)

✨I'm an aquarius and honestly, I truly live up to my sign. I'm a Ambivert cause even though I love hanging out with my friends and get along with them, there are times where I just need to get out and be alone for a bit and just let out everything in me.

✨for my personality, I got a turbulent advocate, INFJ-T (I don't know if that helps-) I'm usually quiet and shy around new people, and keep to myself around them unless they come over and talk to me, or I hear them say something that is an interest of mine then I can break out of my shell and start talking.

✨After speaking up to a person and getting to know them better, I'm a very bubbly person, I try to be kind by treating people the way I want to be treated and only rarely am I angry unless someone really press my buttons. I also use humor to cope with, pretty much everything, and I always try my hardest to make someone laugh, because whenever I hear someone laugh, my heart melts because of it. Idk why it just does.

✨considering my height, and my weight, I'm a chubby girl, thick thighs and all. It took me a long time to love myself and try to accept myself for who I am, since I was bullied quite a bit during my childhood for my weight and other things. However, even though Im starting to love myself, there are times where I become insecure but I usually keep it to myself unless someone makes me blurt it out.

✨speaking of insecure, I have really bad anxiety. Whenever I'm under pressure during a situation I have no idea how to fix, I start to pick at my skin, usually digging my nails into my skin to the point it draws blood. And whenever I'm around a lot of people, like at a store for example, I always feel like their eyes are on me which makes me feel very insecure and I keep my arms around my stomach to try to keep my nerves down. Whenever I feel my anxiety rise, my body start to twitch, especially my hands, so in order to calm it down I start to sketch out a drawing or listen to music to help me calm.

✨I was mentally and physically abused as a child so it takes me a while before I can truly open to someone. I always feel like I'm a burden to people when I speak out about my problems or my feelings, so I tend to keep them to myself. However, there are times where I just can't keep it in anymore, so I just let it all out to someone by either crying or speaking at high speed (pretty much gibberish) and tug really hard at my hair. Because of this, I love it when someone understands me or, even if they don't know what I've exactly been through, they're still there to help and support me no matter what.

✨I usually don't use words or describe my emotions in these types of situations, so I express it to my partner by actions. Such as hugging them tight, or crying in their shoulders. Because I'm always worried I'll say the wrong thing to someone. And whenever I do say something wrong, I apologise to them, but it still lingers in my head for a while before I can come to terms with it.

✨In many situations, I try to use my brain before acting out, but there are times where my emotions get the best of me.

✨I have an immense fear that I'll be forgotten by the people I love, or I lose someone close to me. It didn't bother me back then, but now it's become a big fear of mine.

✨ANYWAY- aside from the "that" stuff, I get really flustered whenever someone compliments me, or even remotely flirts with me. Sure, I flirt back or compliment to someone as well (even if it's cheesy sometimes-) but when it's directed to me, I blush SO hard and smile because Ive never been complimented a lot during my past, so I take compliments to heart a lot of the time.

✨My hobbies are Drawing/Painting, Reading, Writing, Video games, and Hanging out with my friends.

✨Drawing has always been my favorite hobby as long as I can remember. Through out the years, my art style has gotten better, even though I still don't have an officially art style for myself. I especially love to draw or sketch out the people I love, ocs, animals, and mythical creatures. Mostly dragons/wyverns since I've always been entranced by mythology and mythical creatures. Drawing, or sketching in general has helped me a lot with expressing my emotions and my creativity on paper.

✨Animation has always been my biggest aspiration and I'm currently saving up money so I can study in animation.

Anyways, I think imma stop my matchup ask here so I hope all of this information about me helps! Again, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with this matchup!

Hi Onyx!!!! You are NEVER bothering me!!! Thank you for sending in such a detailed bio for me! I just wanted to say, a lot of how you describe yourself sounds like me! Maybe its a fellow Aquarius thing? You are so so brave to be able to share so much about yourself with me, and I am so very thankful you felt safe to do so! <3 rooting for you and here for you if you need an ear, or shoulder. 

Alright, now. I have excluded Levi, Armin, and Connie because I believe those are the ones that are shorter than 5′5. 

I think the single thing that made me choose who I did for you was your love for art! I would match you up with....

Jean! 

We saw how much of an artist Jean was, and honestly that part stuck with me. 

Jean would be a good match for an ambivert such as yourself because I feel like he is a good balance of quiet contemplation and keeping to himself mixed with a very particular personality that can lean towards outgoing and sarcastic. 

I feel like Jean would be very respectful of what you wanted, and in time, would get more perceptive towards your needs. Did you agree to go out with your friends but as the day drew closer seemed a little hesitant about going out? He would be willing to be your scapegoat, telling your friends that he had something come up and you couldnt hang out anymore, or that there was some sort of leak or issue he caused and he needed you to stay behind to help with it. Essentially, he would be partner and that friend you call to bail you out of unfortunate situations all rolled up into one! 

At first, Jean would be the one who prompts you to talk and share more about yourself, but over time, as you grow more comfortable with him, you’d be the one dominating conversations, and he'd be absolutely fine with it! Just listening to you talk with an occasional hum or comment. 

Jean I think would be a mixture of actions and words. He is a little more vocal about sharing his emotions, but not by much. Hes mostly in his head with things and can come off as a little cold, but if you knew how he communicated his love, it would be obvious how much he cares. He does the little, mundane things to make life easier for you rather than profess his feelings all the time. When he notices how you cope with stressful environments, he'd be a great help. He'd gently take your hands and help you unfurl your clenched fist, or lacing your fingers with his to prevent you from picking at em. He would be that rock you need at the store, ushering you into a quiet aisle with an arm around your shoulder, making sure you're okay before resuming the shopping trip, planning out the optimal routes to take in order to minimize time spent in the store. 

The two of you would rarely get into arguments, mainly due to the fact that he could never really argue with you, also, you are just...never really angry. He would know better than to push your buttons or pick a fight so its usually pretty smooth sailing. 

You and jean’s everyday talk would be cute to listen to, him taking every opportunity to flirt or throw in a cheesy pickup line to make you smile. “good morning! its a beautiful day!”

“morning! You’re right. Gorgeous.” and hes looking straight at you and not at the blue skies smh 

Jean might be a little embarrassed or self conscious about his art, but would love to watch you sketch. He would go along with you to the park, or just out to explore new spots, sitting beside you quietly, sometimes laying his head in your lap as you sketch. That would be his ideal lazy afternoon. 

Overall, you two would be super cute! Everyone thinks so, but most importantly, the two of you would support each other, each helping the other grow in the best ways! 

Valentines Day Event 

[rolemates]

Hey everyone! I’m Tulsa and I’m twenty-two so please please please be over eighteen, bc I’m not tryna catch a case. I’ve had issues in the past where people who play the opposing characters change them so much that it’s not even them anymore, and then the dynamic doesn’t make sense and yeah….. (this makes me sound harsh but i promise I’m not jdsjnddi).

RULES

FORMAT;; Since these are characters that we’re playing, I’d prefer us both to use third person POV. I get very invested in my characters, but find it a bit uncomfortable when I, or my partner, is using ‘I’, it makes it too personal for me. As for doubling, that’s something I don’t do, and I know that’s usually a turn-off. I just feel it’s easier, and more fun to focus on one story/couple. I will play side characters if we need/like, but I only do one thread. I hope that makes sense lol

LENGTH;; As I tend to write stories in my free time, I do prefer longer replies. My starters will usually be anywhere from 3-5 paragraphs, and my replies at least 2, usually more depending on the scene and how much my partner is giving me. I’m not too strict about this, but I do like details, so if you’re a one-line roleplayer, we are not a good fit. For more of a glance at my length, feel free to check out my writing samples: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZRxKbX59YvNCXJejHsUHrfP0mlo_KHt9ivZRUwyrdWI/edit?usp=sharing

LIMITS;; I prefer my plots to be about 70/30 when it comes to story/smut. Limits and things of that nature can be discussed in private if need be!

PLOTTING;; As long as we’re both putting forth effort into the plot, I’m down. It’s just hard to come up with a plot by yourself, especially because you don’t know if the other person will like it. Also, if we start a plot and you find yourself bored and/or would like to try something else, don’t hesitate to ask! This whole ad makes me sound so serious, but I swear I’m just a smol girl.

REPLY RATE;; Since I am a college student, my replies may be a bit scattered. Due to Covid, I’m available almost all day everyday so I’d love someone who’s able to do quick, but also literate replies! I will always do my best to send out a reply at least once a day though, but on weekends you can expect quick replies throughout the day.

I think that’s it for all of the formalities, so onto the fun stuff!

Vampire Diaries

Kol Mikaelson & Averie Forbes… BIO: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kZthnbN1uGMLaGh_MVjBV2Sgmy_qtY9xYuPU0Q7BUaA/edit?usp=sharing

Plot ideas: i really want to do something with Stockholm syndrome? Like maybe he takes her as a way to get back at Klaus or something?

Marvel/MCU

Loki Laufeyson & Eira Jarledottir… BIO: https://docs.google.com/document/d/102xmk63dnwe5RMbJegfi-cy4AZtev2IZVafhaejuCvw

Plot Ideas: when Loki is disguised as Odin and we can have her come back to Asgard and she’s completely heartbroken when she finds out Loki is ‘dead’. Or, we could do something set before the films if we’d like! Or something kind of AU where Eira is there when Loki finds out about his true lineage.

Inuyasha

Inuyasha & Kagome Higurashi

Plot Ideas: probably just something in the feudal era, or maybe she convinces him to take her to prom in present day or something Idk I’m open to anything

Stranger Things

Billy Hargrove & Katrina ‘Kat’ Wheeler… BIO: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X_Xz7SOiHZpjlLyrqvzRpP-Kt-sy0zRDBDPxpMDBS2w

Plot Ideas: i don’t have any specifics for this one, but I just picture a ton of angst and a lot of unsaid feelings. I’d love to maybe try an AU where Billy survives the events of season 3 and he’s trying to find himself and figure out how to move forward and Kat wants to help but she’s not quite sure how. Or, I’m always down for good old teenage rebellion that takes place during season 2 or before the whole ‘possession of Billy’ thing happens.

Teen Wolf

Derek Hale & Paige Krasikeva… BIO: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10KtrZRng-j9k4TJ1gZmSJRdqAcqdE2iIM5sfgEe3MLs

Plot Ideas: I’m thinking something along the lines of Derek sees her at the school and is completely shaken and she has absolutely no memory of the situation. So then maybe they re-fall in love or he like steadily tries to help her regain her memory. Another way to go would be they rekindle a romance, Paige having no idea of their history, and then Peter giving her back her memories but they’ve been skewed to make Derek look like the bad guy.

Stiles Stilinski & Lydia Martin

They were my first OTP and I’d love to get the chance to play Lydia again. I’m kind of down for anything with this couple.

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid(or a male oc) & Olivia Fray… BIO: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19hC6zvvbkFVaQMwwY5K-mlHOccm1YFd9j8m2CguN2AI/edit

Plot Ideas: They meet on a case and she ends up getting too deep and someone has to save her. Or she could get hired as like media personnel to give debriefings. I’ve only played in this fandom once, I’m still working things out so bare with me.

I believe that’s it??? I’m really craving these plots right now, so if anyone wants to do them I’d be eternally grateful! Also, if you have any plot ideas of your own for these pairings, don’t be afraid to share them!!! If you’re interested, please feel free to reach out via email (gldenskies@gmail.com) and/or Discord (gldenskies#5545)

[quackspot]

i started thinking about that gay bastard oc of yours. platano. can u tell me about him

omg u wer thinkgin about platano..... mr banana man... mr 4011. i am obsessed with the banana code srry i just got back from work (it was good :-D)

any way. um. im going below the cut. he kidnaps people and he murders people and i hate him because he’s also a massive weeb so. hm

HISTORY OF PLATANO... yea his name is spanish for banana

his father, pablo, will probably get a name change someday but i literally never think of his father since the only thing he did in platano’s backstory was disappear 

since platano’s world has characters based off like. fruits and vegetables (there aren’t really any limit to what the characters are based off of. it was in my lazy google translate name phase so we have like... a gay character named arcenciel who becomes dadlike through my powerful canon-changing touch. also arcenciel wears the colors of the rainbow as often as he can i haven’t figured out a good design for him since i’m not used to using more than 5 colors. he also owns a hat factory)

i think arcenciel and platano are friends they met when platano was like. 17 probably and arcenciel would be around uhhhhh ummmmmmm 21??? idk man but in canon he’s probably around 30 . yes i m saying “in canon” because i wrote a really dumb and horrible story back in 2018 arcenciel used to have HUGE internalized homophobia and i turned that into a running joke and i dislike that so that’s a reason why i’m not sharing the fun little story i wrote for my friends

(the best part of that story is when arcenciel threw his light-up rainbow heelies at platano, thus starting the boss fight which the main cast LOST.)

ok back to the topic at hand. platano.

i have a whole doc named platano where i just wrote drabbles about him so i’m going to summarize them

the first one was his friend, percisi (my only cishet oc he’s very short and very aggressive while also dressing in a soft-colored turtleneck since he’s based off of peaches) using a misunderstood form of satanism to summon satan. guess what percisi and platano summoned satan for. it was a manga update! wow

i won’t say the mangas name it was an inside joke

so platano was like “hey satan can i have this manga now please please” and satan went “sure just kill people for me” 

that determined platanos job for the next 7 or so years <3 wonderful. 

(it was basically me writing a backstory for a scene to happen in the main writing i wrote for my friends. he killed someone because someone else in the building was trying to summon satan. very confusing but okay i guess.)

i think right after that i wrote about platano meeting his boyfriend, sage, for the first time. i have horribly mixed feelings about their relationship since it’s very. Hm.

so platano kidnaps people to watch anime with him because all his friends left him and his best friend, mangue, is too busy being a dictator over the Land of the Fruits. i shit you not fruits oppressed the vegetables. i wrote that dynamic between the two because i was learning about the revolutionary war in US History. something like that at least

(the Land of the Fruits is not the official name)

on the topic of kidnapping people. guess who his favorite person was. sage. it was sage. so he tried to take sage often but they probably discussed Proper boundaries since everyone else tried to run away. hmm i am now going to write a bit right now 

“Platano,” Sage started. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? It’s rude and I hate it.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” The yellow-haired fool leaned on his sword, digging the tip deeper into the ground. 

“ASK ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT??” 

“I can do that?”

“You keep making my dads worried.” Sage looked around the area, fidgeting with his hands. 

“Oh. Okay. Want to hang out? Watch some anime?” Platano paused for a moment, but managed to say “Maybe kiss?” before Sage got to answer.

“I- KISS??? We can watch anime together. We can go now.” 

Sage ushered Platano through a portal as fast as he could. 

His dads were never worried.

hmmm maybe that’s alright idk i’m a little tired so it’s probably a little out of character. sage probably isn’t that loud but i think it was trying to be the dynamic of “oh, we’re not dating” when they kiss every sunday at 5 pm by a romantic river scene 

he’s a character who is, at his very core, horrible and bad. he is portrayed in a way i DESPISE but i’m too lazy to correct it. his interest in sage actually started with me going “hmm i think platano would draw sage like this” then sauce giving me fun facts about his oc, sage, yea sage is sauce’s oc <3 epic win . so sauce gave me fun facts about sage and i was like “time to doodle these in platanos ‘art style’” when in reality it’s just the mockery of people just getting into an anime art style, with the chin so pointy it could cut a cake 

i might reread my old writing from 2018. i gotta agree with the judges for that year i did not write very well

it mightve actually been made in 2017 which would be FUCKIN CRAZY im gonna check rn 

yea it was started in 2018. february 14th... huh . finished it completely in june of that year it was 41 pages total and it’s not even double spaced how did i write something without double spacing it

OH MY GOD BOB IS GOING TO HIJACK THIS RANT JUST FOR A LITTLE

so bob is a fluffy little anthro cloud with a grey top hat and bowtie. he is amazing. i love bob. bob is another one of sauce’s character and mangue (mentioned earlier) was made by my friend jamie 

(you can always ask for their tumblrs but i’d ask them if its okay to share their tumblrs. i might just look at them and reblog their stuff cuz i like their art!!! maybe jamie posted a drawing she made recently on her blog but tbh i don’t think she would she’s more of a twitter user)

ok so im skimming thru UMG which is the story it stands for “Universe of Magic Gardens” and it was originally made for a prank on ponytown so people would go “what’s UMG” and my friends and i would be like “ur mom gay xDDDDDD” or something like that . horrible but i’m glad i’ve changed from . that.

here’s a bit i actually like AKLJFISJFIO

“What the actual FUCK, Ilkie?!” Arcenciel cringed in fear. “Put it back- it’s too ugly.” He pointed at Platano, whose arms were crossed. 

why is it bolded. anyway.

i just saw a part where eau used y’all... water cowboy moments <333 i really need to make refs for all of those old characters. all of my umg-related characters have to be my oldest-living ocs. 

i cant believe this is making me genuinely reread my old writing just to go “WJHFSIDAJKSFIOJ WTF????” 

some of the lines on it sound like something you would hear on like. a school bus or somethin 

looking at umg like “wtf how did i add so much Meat to this writing” bc most of my writing now is mostly quotations to progress the story (like the quickie i wrote earlier. i could add meat to it but im  tired lol)

OK THIS IS MORE GENERAL BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS WAS WRITING HAIKUS FOR PORTALS. after you visit a place enough times it’s kind of just an instinct to open a portal there so you don’t have to recite a haiku 

uhh ok here’s another bit becuase im feeling like living la vida loca.  ur biggest regret should be “can you tell me about him” by this point bc i’ve written too much to go back now

He landed on his face once he was outside of the hat. Meko quickly walked over to the guest room, opened the Portals for Dummies book, and flipped to a page. It looked devious.

“Banana, mango,

Each tasting amazingly.

A taste of evil.” 

Meko did the dance on the page, it consisted of something that looks like it’s from an anime. A portal opened, the familiar scent of bananas and mangoes coming from it. With some hesitation, Meko stepped in. He quickly made it so only his head peeked in.

it wasnt bolded this time but i like it bolded. ok i understand how i added meat it was just shitty expired meat ALKFSJSHDAIUJKFEIODSJAK . it wasnt even that much meat DAMN. it just looked like more.

actually that’s all i will write. i could  do more w platano but yea at his base he is a blonde twink who kills people because he wanted a manga but now he’s friends with a dictator. woo! wow. amazing character writing. i cant wait to get motivation to rewrite everything and make platano a good villain (he will still be very interested in anime sadly. idk why around that time i liked making characters who were obsessed with anime i didn’t even watch it much myself. i think it was because i wanted to put capes on them)

[coollyinterferes]

   SPEED: One of the first things you need to know if you’re interacting with me or plan to do so is that I’m slow, and I really mean slow, with any and all of my replies. It can take from minutes/hours to days, weeks, sometimes even a month or so. It always depends on a variety of things, and how real life is going at the moment, as I tend to get busy at times, and also my mental health is not always at it’s best (as you know, I tend to go through episodes of anxiety and/or depression p often, and that usually ends up affecting my activity here) and I also happen to get distracted a lot sometimes. Add the issue I’ve been dealing with this past month with my laptop on top of all that, too orz

   REPLIES: I tend to miss some sometimes when tumblr’s notifs fail and I don’t have them on my tracker yet, or when the tracker is not working properly (like it was some time ago). I try to get to them as soon as I can when I see them. There are times some threads pique my muse’s interest more than others and, as such, he will bug me and make sure we get to those asap. As stated in the rules, it’s nothing personal, just a matter of the muse currently being more invested into those threads/replies. In regards of content: I always try to make sure I’m giving my partners something they can work with for their reply and to keep the ball rolling and the interest on the thread alive. However, I can’t do this alone, and I expect my partners to do their part on this. Being forced to carry all the weight of a thread sucks all the fun out of it, so if you ever feel like I’m failing to do my part on this, please, please! let me know so I can fix that as soon as I can!

   STARTERS: I’m not great at them, which is why I tend to go with small ic posts every now and then that serve as “open starters” of sorts. This does not mean that I won’t write you a starter if you’d like one from me, though! All you need to do is let me know you want one or, alternatively, write me one and tag me in it if that feels best for you. We can always plot something for it. It doesn’t have to be super in-depth. We can just set the outlines and go from there, if that’s best (I’d actually appreciate some input if you happen to have a muse from a different jojo part/fandom, or an OC, this to make something we’re both equally comfortable with).

   INBOX: My ask box is open all the time. Anon is on, too. Anything and everything is welcome, save for anon hate and stuff of the likes of it that no one wants to see (and as long as its within the rules, of course). If you ever want to send your muse over here, you can do it anytime! Same if you ever have any questions, if there's anything you want to know about my muse, anything you'd like to ask him about other muses, about his relationships with them and so on. Crack-ish, serious, angsty, etc. The possibilities are endless. And, as stated before, anon is on, so if that's best for you, you can always go with that! I'm a bit slow replying to asks sometimes, but I try to get to everything as soon as I can. I rarely ever delete asks so, if I haven’t replied to yours one way or another, then it most likely means that either tungle ate it, or it failed to notify me about it orz

   SELECTIVITY: I'm pretty flexible on this and I'm open to interactions with pretty much anyone and everyone regardless of their writing/rp style and so on. I don't always follow everyone back, mainly cause I try to keep a somewhat uncluttered dash. As stated in the rules, I usually don't follow back personal/non-rp accounts or accounts that post a lot of personal/non-rp posts (I sometimes follow some of these personals/non-rp accounts from my personal, though), blogs that don't trim their threads (2 or 3 blockquotes are fine, but more than that not so much) and etc. However, none of this will affect any possible interactions as I'm always open for interactions with mutuals AND non-mutuals.

   WISHLIST: There are a few things I've always wanted to try my hand at rp-wise. I've always wanted to explore more of Robert's past, from his childhood to his days as a gangleader. This can be done in different ways, especially if we happen to go with something more "EoH-like" or set in different verses, or even AUs, or with muses that may have known him around that time and etc. Speaking of AUs, I’d also like to explore some of my AUs (the vampire AU, mainly).    Another thing in my wishlist that probably comes as no surprise at all would be the chance to roleplay some jonawagon and/or some jonaeri+jonawagon. Like, yeah, it's true that Robert truly fell head over heels for that big bara guy the moment he kicked his face, but I'd really like to explore their relationship as a whole, to see some of the development they had in canon through all those months of peace that came after that horrid battle in Windknight’s Lot, to see them captivating each other and realize that "shit, this is not just some childish infatuation like i thought it was", that it's the real deal, something much deeper than anyone would’ve expected, to see them come to terms with this “obscene” relationship, to see them deal with and overcome the obstacles and issues that being gay in Victorian England carried, and see them go from friends to something else. To see them get intimate, but not only in a sexual/sensual way, but also like sharing all sorts of intimate moments together, opening themselves to each other. To explore all the good but also all the not-so-good in their relationship, to explore all those sad and bitter moments they spent together, healing together, trying to overcome their traumas together, from those they acquired together since that day the stone mask changed their lives to all the heavy baggage they have both been dragging along since their childhoods, and so on. All those aspects that aren't always explored or even talked about when it comes to the ship as a whole and see them have the long happy lives and the happy ending they deserved either as a couple or as a polycule (in the case of jonaeri+jonawagon).    In regards of relationships (and this includes romantic relationships with other characters/muses), I'd like to continue seeing Robert develop relationships and forming bonds of all kinds with other muses as well, especially with muses from part 1, since I've rarely ever had the chance to interact with many since I made this blog about 3 years ago. Some romance is always appreciated since Robert is a bit too much of a romantic fool when he's in lerv, but I'm always open to all sorts of bonds and relationships -platonic, romantic, familial, hateships, etc-.

   HONEST NOTE: I'm shy and a lot of times I find it a bit hard to socialize or i plain out don't know what to say (and language barriers sometimes get in the way, too), but I always try my best to keep a conversation going if I feel the other person is interested in it as well -else I’ll feel like I’m boring them to death and won’t say much more :’D-. It might take me a while to figure out what to say and build up the courage to talk to you first, but please never hesitate to reach out to me if you ever want to talk, even if it's just about our muses or about any plot ideas, headcanons, to share some plot bunnies and so on. Same if you ever want to send your muse our way! It doesn’t matter if we haven’t interacted before. Just like with every other reply from me tho, I tend to be slow (and forgetful, too), but I try to get to everything as soon as I can. That said, please never worry about taking your time to write a reply for me, be it ic or ooc. I understand and would never get mad at you for it.

   tagged by:  speeb sees, speeb steals >:jc ( stolen from @shabcn and @jojoingjoseph )    tagging:  I’ve seen this on the dash a few times today, so idk who’s done it already and who hasn’t so, if you see this and want to give it a shot, consider yourself tagged!

[pepprs]

[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

[torawro]

4, 5, 16 & 19 💋💋💋

hi daria thank you sm for the ask!!!

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you're really proud of (explain why, if you like)

hmm, idk if i have a “favorite” sentence/paragraph but one that sticks out to me for some reason is from my eren fic veronica!, where i write ‘you felt yourself hesitating, reluctant. suddenly it hit you. he did completely ignore your existence, he did fuck you like he loved you just to drop off the face of the earth, he did cheat on you that one time’. this paragraph, and the 2 that came before it rings in my mind bc i realize that i was lowkey projecting my past experience In relationships into this story, and encapsulated my inner battle with conflicting feelings toward someone i love but they did me wrong, more than once sometimes. (no one has broken into my house or anything crazy like that God forbid, but ive been spammed with text messages and calls, felt betrayed , left alone and all that extra stuff) so ig i just wanted to express the complexity of relationships?? 😭 and i had am having a bad eren brain rot rn so😀

5. What character that you're writing do you most identify with?

hmm, it sounds cliché but i do relate with black y/n or reader the most HAHQHQ . for obvious reasons bc they’re supposed to be us but idk.. fics like that really give me an escape from the real world and make me forget why im sad or depressed or tired or whatever, it lets me express myself and i enjoy reading and writing it:) other examples are two oc’s ive created in my book on wp about todoroki and dabi (link to these are in my navi post) but yeah!

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

uhh, i want to start writing more ‘poetically’ in terms of my style, i feel like what i write isn’t good and what i do write isn’t enough. like not just writing fun things or slutty things or yandere things but writing them in a way that sounds poetic, like what it feels like to fall in love, or what season describes a person or something like that . in terms of fandoms i have so many drafts i just need the time to get to them all and perfect them😩 i want to start writing for genshin more bc i started playing and i love ittt and the works i come across with genshin characters are so good and top tier. i also wanna improve the types of yanderes i write, considering i have one of gojo, and have two in the drafts of reiner from aot and suga from haikyuu

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe 'too often, trope you can't get enough of?)

one thing i don’t like about myself when i write is being too repetitive unintentionally, but when i do find something like that it’s like certain tropes when it comes to the reader/oc and the character (i.e. a couple with relationship problems and it’s angsty, the emotionless boyfriend takin it too far and not being affectionate to the point it damages their relationship to the point where the reader gets depressed she wants to leave im projecting again) or something along those lines . that leads me to my next point, i tend to project aspects of my personality into the oc/reader too much bc it gives me comfort but i should expand my “palette” a bit and write them differently then how i would act (bubbly or a brat or a bimbo or positive or something). whenever i write yandere i to always gravitate towards the ‘nice polite guy who always smiles and could never do no wrong but is different behind closed doors and is a obsessed maybe perverted sicko). idk why i like the idea of someone putting on a façade like that but they’re just *chefs kiss*. ik there are others but i can’t think of them rn💀😭

sorry this took me foreverrrr to write but it was fun!

[xivu-arath]

also how about things your other swtor ocs would do or think if they were on denny?

going with vit first bc I wish I hadn’t claimed him in a slump and thus only icced him like three times r i p

he would have signed himself up for beacon heights bc he is a sappy nerd who needs a lot of people around him to feel at ease? he’s v gregarious and easy to get along with, and prefers to just... be in company. on his own he’s not exactly as fun and often gets kind of stuck in his own head. 

he’d also have made use of rifter nightlife that isn’t the icc like come on guys, if everyone can’t sleep anyways, at least go to some kind of quality place...

also stayed the fuck away from metropolis once he heard a sith was there like No Thanks

he’d be very adamant about staying away from all the exciting and dangerous stuff and not handling anyone’s problems for free but also immediately step in with advice for anyone clearly freaking out so like... what a sap

he jokes about stealing the waverider like every time he sees sara, he probably would if she couldn’t just kick his ass up and down

if he met any of the cats he’d probably further confuse their ideas of society by making criminal enterprises seem like a legit life goal that people pursue normally

chotal would like... immediately quiz everyone upon arriving, find out about the metropolis centres and casually infiltrate them, or rather just consistently mindtrick security after closing

only to then run into the problem of most info being visually recorded on archaic systems... chotal’s bad day

caitlin walks out of her lab to find her despondently poking at a computer, it’s really awkward?

she’s a very good if somewhat dispassionate mediator and probably makes it a point to stake out the icc and defuse conflicts there. mysteriously never at the same time that rkorya is keeping an eye on it bc I don’t actually want my ocs to kill each other

(rkorya would win tho)

I think denny would actually fuck a bit more with her faith in the jedi code than canon could - she’s genuinely alone, without support and in a situation where most people actively try to anchor themselves through attachment and sharing emotion... idk it’d be interesting to see how that would affect her, and who she’d find herself bonding with

shenrihn arriving would mean them getting a fucking vacation and they more than deserve it

they would find denny fascinating and overwhelming, kind of in the way coruscant is, but... more manageable if only bc it’s ultimately less people, even if even more varied

they love hearing about other worlds and galaxies and cultures! but they’re far more close-mouthed and hesitant when it comes to talking about their own experiences, apart from safe stuff like... jedi training

they’re somewhat at a loss of what to do given they don’t have... any authority telling them what to investigate or who to fight, so they sort of hang around and react to whatever’s happening

100% more likely to fall into getting attached to other people than chotal is, also about 100% better at dealing with it

though I can see their mix of undoubtedly compassionate, apparently quiet, chill and always ready to calmly stab someone to death being kind of... unnerving. they’re trying, okay

the most likely out of the three to have sad backstory exposition time with someone else

[autumn-flick]

Ravishing, My Love [Darkiplier x OC]

The continuation of Trinity and Darkiplier, this time, they go on a date.

ooo, so fancy. I am pleased with this, at least. SOOO.

IDK, I like it, but it’s still nice to know someone else likes it too...

[sad pity desiring face]

Should I link the others....??

NAHH>

WARNINGS; anxiety triggers, suicide triggers, triggers in general?

self pity??? IDK, just stuff I generally think but don’t want to share b/c too pathetic

~

~

She felt... self conscious and unsure as she glanced over the clothing in her closet, she had nothing even close to being fancy, or date ready. Only baggy clothing, things that weren’t too revealing and that covered up her large belly and legs.

Trinity shifted uncomfortably, the thought lingered in her mind to call the date off. I mean, this was a date. It was a real date with the man... she... didn’t love, no...

Felt a strong attraction to, whenever he spoke, her heart fluttered and she would constantly think of him. Maybe because he was the only access to the outside world, Dark was the only other human that she hung out with.

Most of her friends were halfway across the country - so, she didn’t leave her home much... except for him, to be around him. Even if he would get up once they were finished, he would always comeback and let her lay on him for a few minutes before telling her she had to go.

Trinity bit her lip, never thinking that what they had would escalate into a date kind of thing, she was hesitant, even more so now that the thoughts were rising up. Ones full of doubt and hesitation. In the end, she fought it away and picked out a red blouse, a black shrug [like the type of small jacket you wear to cover your shoulders up], a black [long] accordion skirt. Some fancy flats to go with that.

And matching red underwear that she almost never wore, it made a blush creep up her face as she dressed appropriately, staring at herself in the mirror with her hands roaming her stomach, smoothing out any wrinkles - she wanted to look perfect for Dark.

Trinity sighed just a bit before deciding to put her hair up in a neat bun, to keep it away from her face.

It would draw more attention to her eyes, which she had always favored. A bit of blush, eyeliner and foundation took care of everything for the most part. But then... Trinity opted for using lipstick, nothing too showy, just a deep red - not something Dark should notice right away.

And then, she was feeling presentable.

Fortunately, Dark hadn’t sent his chauffeur this time - the one time he did, it left Trinity feeling awkward for almost the entire night. She didn’t do good with talking to people, it was a wonder she ever got a job working behind a counter and managed to keep it.

She figured she would never see those people again, and for the most part, she had been right.

The drive to Dark’s place seemed to last a lot longer than she remembered. Barely being able to contain her anxiety, Trinity turned up some music, though it only seemed to agitate her further.

Was this another step into a relationship? What would it do, bring them closer together? Would it make Dark realize that there were better women out there for him?

Those thoughts swarmed her head, almost distracting her from driving. Almost making her want to turn around, drive back and mope in self-pity because she wasn’t worth anything to anybody.

But here, Dark was asking her to have dinner with him. A date, she could ruin her one chance to have a relationship with something more... or she could shove her anxiety down and buck-up.

Pulling up to a stoplight, Trinity leaned back in the driver’s seat and closed her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart before she made a decision.

As all choices do, it would shape her future.

~

Within five minutes, Trin was pulling up to the large tower that Dark lived in all alone, she assumed, when she first saw it, that he was someone with a lot of wealth. But even though he was wealthy, all of the rooms were empty. He was the only one living in the tower labeled ‘Ego Inc.’, it was kinda sad. She felt bad for Dark that it looked like he didn’t have family left, or at least any that cared about him.

She did catch glimpse of a photo that had a bunch of guys in it, and they all looked like Dark, but extremely different from him. Then there were a few others in there, but Trinity didn’t get to look long before Dark had stepped in front of her, clearly meaning to keep her from looking, and Trinity didn’t push him about it. Though she found herself thinking of it often.

Wondering where his family had gone off to and why Dark never talked about them, but she wasn’t one to bring it up. If he trusted her, he would open up to her about it.

The young woman stepped up to the large building, feeling so small compared to it, she pressed the button on the side, requesting access inside. There was a moment’s silence before the doors opened, allowing the woman inside. She took a deep breath before stepping inside the well lit lobby, perfectly placed furniture.

And surprisingly, there was a desk there, like one you’d see at hotels. The walls were a warm yellow color and there was a collection of chairs a couches covering in a gentle orange fabric near a fireplace.

The floor was a light wood laminate, a few plants were spread along the area with abstract paintings on the wall.

This place was eerily unfamiliar, it was nothing like Dark. As he preferred black and grey colors to lively ones. On the far wall, there was an elevator with the light showing the floors on which the elevator was currently on. And it was steadily getting to the lobby.

Her heart fluttered in her chest as she subconsciously reached up to tug at the bird pendant around her neck, fist closing around it and giving it a couple of tugs while she held her breath, she was scared for what might step out of those doors, even though she knew it would be Dark. She was scared of what he would see, she was scared she almost wouldn’t be good enough.

Of course, these thoughts would often come before Dark had started to speak sickly sweet words, and they quickly vanished once he opened his mouth to lavish his praise upon her beauty.

Reducing her to a blushing, squirming mess under his hands and strong gaze.

It almost seemed like the man knew exactly what she needed to hear, even if it was rough words, forceful. She may cry about it, but in the end, she would realize that he was right. That he was right all along.

His voice brought her out of her stupor, his silky voice curling around her ears like a familiar tune, “Trinity...” He breathed, looking... awestruck, an emotion she had never saw on him before. The man in the suit was always so well composed, and he quickly regained it as he strolled up to her, towering over her by a few inches and looking extremely intimidating, but welcoming at the same time.

Dark smirked slowly, a hand coming up to stroke her face, his eyes drinking in her shy expression as she blushed and dipped her head just slightly, “You look stunning.”

“I’m going to say the same about you.” Trinity replied, swallowing thickly below looking up into his dark brown orbs that shimmered with... amusement, maybe? He looked pleased with her choice of clothing and words, as his mouth danced up into a half smile, a rare feature to find on him, but she loved it.

Dark wore a black jacket, dark blue tie, a grey collarshirt and a black waistcoat, it fit him perfectly. It was just... so him.

“Thank you, love. Shall we?” He asked, tilting his head a bit as he offered Trinity his hand, to which, she gladly accepted, a slight shiver running down her back as she did so.

But his half smile turned into a full smile and that was when she swore, she felt something... strong. Connect between the two of them.

The young woman inhaled, but tried not to linger of those thoughts [as she did with all positive ones], and instead fell in step with her date as he led her to the elevator.

~

The ride up was relatively quiet, it wasn’t strange, it was a comfortable silence that left the both of them feeling quiet and peaceful. Once the elevator arrived on the designated floor [Trinity wasn’t paying attention to what floor it was], Dark was the first one to step out, leading the young woman closer behind to reveal a beautiful set up.

A beautiful dinner set up, a wooden grandtable with a plate of food on each end where the chairs were.

In front of a fireplace that was already crackling away and a beautiful, boquet of roses sitting smackdab in the middle of the table, the lights were dimmed, but there was enough light to see Dark’s features cast in shadows, highlighting them perfectly.

A small sigh of happiness escaped her lips as she glanced towards the man, already walking over to one end and pulling the seat out for her, beckoning his date to sit down. And Trinity moved forward, a blush on her face as she accepted her seat and mumbled a quiet thank you as he pushed her closer to the table.

Then, he swiftly walked over to the opposite end, an alluring look in his eyes as he roamed over her form, knowing how it made her blush. The way he looked at her with lust, but he also knew it wasn’t enough to keep her interested.

And so, tonight, he was going to look at her in a different light, one he had been denying himself for so long. But, finally, he believed it was time to let go of his petty nice and allow himself to believe that it was actually okay to be so deep in adoration for a human.

That he truly and genuinely wanted to give her everything in the world and wanted nothing more than her unconditional love. And he would give the same in return.

That scared him to no end and it was a chance that could cost him everything. But he had already lost everything, so, he was willing to gamble it again.